February 2009 - WANT: The guilt of want

Do you ever feel guilt about getting something you want?

Well, I used to. I think this was a trait that my parents provided to me. Not sure if this comes from heredity, environment or me cultivating those emotional seeds all on my own. Whatever the source, guilt can be a powerful ally or a devastating enemy. Naturally, if you don't have guilt in your life you are free from all of this. Does anyone have no guilt about anything? Could this be?

An interesting period of my life was when I discovered that guilt was one of the many emotions controlling my life. Or was it that I was allowing guilt to control my life? Either way, guilt definitely had a dramatic influence. Once recognized, the adverse impact of guilt can be minimized. Not that it disappears, but rather it is used for good and not evil.

Imagine, if you will, getting exactly what you wanted, feeling that moment of joy, but then followed by the guilt of "I should have wanted something more noble, profound or life changing". Instead, there you sit silently watching the birds flit about the yard. Nothing else. Just solitude with nature. There are people who self judge their wants (more on this later in a post titled The Judgment of Want).

In a moment like the one above, they might come up with the judgment of "am I not mature", "am I not intelligent" or "am I wasting my time" simply because they are enjoying the moment.

Can you imagine anyone feeling guilt about a moment like that? If not, thank goodness.

SIDEBAR: Back in college, there was this beautiful sunny day where I was driving along with all the windows down, radio blasting and me just singing without reservation (unusual, because I sing like crap!). Suddenly, up ahead I see a NJ State Trooper waving me to the side of the road. I got a speeding ticket. Yep, I was really, really enjoying myself and poof, reality smacked me up side the head. I felt guilt for a very long time after that each time I started to enjoy driving or considered singing in the car. It stuck with me for a very long time. A very long time!

Back to now

Do you see examples today of people feeling guilt about getting what they want?
I heard a "star" say on TV that they had stopped shopping because it didn't feel appropriate when so many others were experiencing such difficult economic times.

Is that quilt?

My first thought was, you guilt ridden goof! Exactly what we need is that "star" spending money! It has been stated that just 20% of the people control a remarkable 84% of the wealth. We need to make sure that 20% stop feeling guilt and start spending. They must have what they want for our own good!

Okay, enough of this. Just remember that asking for and getting what you want really shouldn't make you feel guilt. If it does, look deeper to see why. If guilt is use for good it is a powerful tool, but first we must recognize it.

Enjoy! Really, don't think too hard, just enjoy!

P.S. What is guilt